A groundbreaking survey from an unlikely source backs up what family groups have been saying about kids all along and reveals teens are on the right track when it comes to their role models, family and sex. This is truly good news. The MTV/Associated Press poll shows what really makes teens tick is time with family.
Four areas of the survey particularly rang true with family advocates.
Family ties
What makes you most happy? If you’re between the ages of 13 and 24, you’re likely to answer the same way 13-year-old Caroline Friend did.
“Well, I really love being with my family and spending time with them," the Colorado Springs, Colo., resident said.
Twenty percent of teens surveyed by MTV agree, making it the top response. Mom Kimberly said she has to be intentional about making that time.
"We hike, we go on lots of road trips where we listen to Adventures in Odyssey — Caroline can recite almost all of them.”
Seventy-three percent of teens are somewhat or very happy with their relationship with their parents. Dr. Bill Maier, vice president and psychologist in residence at Focus on the Family, said a great way to continue cultivating conversations is to turn off the TV.
“In the average American household, the television is on 49 hours a week," he told Family News in Focus. "In the average American household, parents spend about 39 minutes a week in meaningful conversation with their kids.
“I think a lot of parents of teens just assume that, ‘Well, you know, my kids are at an age now where they really don’t want to spend time with me, they’re not interested in what our family’s interested in.’ But this flies in the face of that.”
Heroes welcome
Happiness only snowballs when teens have someone to look up to. Heroes come in many shapes and sizes. But, the MTV-AP poll found, for nearly half of all teens, parents fit the bill. Dr. George Wiedmaier, director of parenting outreach at Focus on the Family, said there’s a reason for that.
“It’s our parents that are there at the dinner table to be able to discuss challenging times in our lives," he said. "And our kids recognize it and will only recognize it more and more and more as they grow up.”
Vincent DiCaro with the National Fatherhood Initiative said a large body of research backs up what kids are saying.
“Research, for example, on the teen pregnancy issue shows repeatedly that the No. 1 influence on a teen’s decision to have sex is their parents.”
Twenty-nine percent of teens hail mom as their hero; 21 percent look up to dad.
The faith factor
Perhaps teens' outward happiness is an indicator of what’s going on inside. Close to half of teens polled say the faith factor is very important in their lives. And nearly a third of them belong to a church or religious group.
Bob Waliszewski, director of Focus on the Family's Plugged In magazine and Web site, said teens want sustenance for their souls.
“It’s no surprise to find out that kids are searching. Many of them consider themselves ‘spiritual’ – I say that in quotation marks. It doesn’t say that they are Christians or evangelicals. But they are wired by God to seek after a Creator.
“I think one of the things that this study could help lead to is more openness, especially on campus, for student-led groups exploring Christianity.”
Sex spells unhappiness
What is it that keeps your kids from smiling? According to the poll, the answer is sex.
Teens today are bombarded with the free-sex message: from peers, school and media. But according to the study, young people know they’re getting short-changed by that message and are unsatisfied with premarital sex. Melissa Nickle with Project Reality said the findings are encouraging and logical.
“Teens actually say that they do want to receive a message of abstinence, and a lot of times they are not getting that," she said. "We know that sexually active teenagers are more likely to suffer from depression. So it makes sense that people are finally recognizing that those who do choose to remain abstinent are happier.”
Linda Klepacki, sexual health analyst for Focus on the Family Action, said depression and dissatisfaction come because teens aren't emotionally mature enough to handle sexual activity — a message she’s been sharing for years.
“It takes a tremendous emotional toll on them," she said. "They can become obsessed with the other person, and it can lead to heartbreak.”
She said abstinence keeps teens out of trouble and focused on their future.
“Instead of being so emotionally involved with another person, they are actually thinking about their future and planning and working towards it, and working towards goals makes most of us happy.”
FOR MORE INFORMATION
You can read the complete report online.
(NOTE: Referral to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family is for informational purposes only and does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)
