Frank and Anita Worthen are the founders of New Hope Ministries, a Christ-centered ministry designed to help people struggling with homosexuality.
The work began in 1973 when Frank left a 25-year homosexual lifestyle and recommitted his life to Christ. He founded Love In Action and was one of the founding fathers of Exodus International. Anita, who understands the struggle, joined his ministry when they were married in 1984.
They host seminars, as well as retreats for men — in California and "anywhere God calls them."
CitizenLink recently had the pleasure of speaking with them:
1. Frank, it’s my understanding that when you left homosexuality in 1973, there were virtually no support systems. What was that like, and how were you were able to move on?
Frank: I had been a good, Christian boy when I was a teenager, but my pastor led me into the homosexual lifestyle. And at 22, I had to make a decision between God and the gay life. I was very angry with the church. But at 44, I’d come to the end of myself because the gay life didn’t provide anything for me. It was just an empty, miserable experience. I wanted out.
I had help from a young man who belonged to a local church. It was during the Jesus Movement. This was a very unusual kind of church to me. This was a very loving church, and there was something going on every day in this church.
The people were very, very attentive, and they had been praying for me to come out of the lifestyle. Michael helped me through the change process. He was young, but he was a good mentor. The church rallied around me, and I was surrounded by church people seven days a week.
If I had gone to some other church, I would have been back in the lifestyle.
2. Anita, tell me about the day your 16-year-old son told you he was living a gay lifestyle. What advice do you have for parents facing a similar situation?
Anita: I’ll never forget that moment because it was like I went into shock. It’s so hard because people never guess it’s going to happen until it does. But if parents could do the right thing, it’s just not say anything until they learn more. Just express the fact that they love their child: "I love you. This doesn’t change how I feel about you."
You really hope that this is just a little hiccup in your life, a nightmare, and you can get everything straightened out ‘cause you're mom and that’s your job. I felt like it was just a little skip in his life, not a fall in our plans for his life. And I think that’s true with most parents.
There are two things I tell parents: I cannot fix your kid, but I know God can. God is able. And the second thing: God is able to do this without you. And sometimes you may be getting in the way.
3. How do you maintain hope for your son? Through prayer?
Anita: Tony and I are very close, but my life isn’t wound up around him. My hope isn’t all-encompassed by what he does or doesn’t do. I had to develop a life that has value without him. And I still believe God is able. My son has full-blown AIDS today. And he’s had it for a long, long time. That was a whole new level of sorrow when I found out. Every time he gets sick, I panic again.
But I have a life that is busy about God’s Kingdom. Because of what happened to Tony, because of the way I responded to it, I became a better person. I would have never been in the ministry. I would have never written a book. I would have never traveled all over the world. I would have never met Frank. None of those things would have happened had it not been for this trauma in my life that caused me to go deeper with Jesus.
We can’t make our loved one our problem. That can’t become our idol. Anything that we put our life into other than Jesus Christ is sin. You can’t give up your life for one person, no matter who they are.
4. Tell me about your involvement with Love Won Out. What would you say to people considering attending?
Anita: The thing about Love Won Out that is so profound and wonderful is that there’s so many parents in pain. You can hide among the crowd. You don’t have to go and wear a big banner that says, "My son’s gay." And pastors get education, too.
They bring in the very best of speakers. You get an opportunity to really learn and talk to other parents. Sometimes, that’s the first time somebody will meet another parent and realize they’re not alone. The enemy wants you to believe your problem is so unique and so special that no one else could understand you. And what does this do? This isolates you and (places) everything out of proportion.
They bring in all the very best books. Even with all the books we have on the market that are helpful, you can’t get them because you’re embarrassed to go into your bookstore. And often, they’re not on the shelf and you have to order them. Here, you can buy all the books. And they even have packets of books for parents, for pastors and others.
This is a huge opportunity that’s only going to come about once in a lifetime. It’s about the best financial deal that you’re going to ever come to.
5. How should churches respond to the issue of homosexuality?
Frank: We’ve been in ministry 36 years, and I’ve spoken in hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of churches across America and around the world. The problem is, churches like to be entertained, and so we come and talk about homosexuality and everybody is interested, and then the next week somebody comes and talks about abortion, and everybody’s interested. And then the next week, they have a criminal that found Christ talk about the number of people he killed. It turns into entertainment. The church likes to hear about an issue, but they don’t do anything about the issue.
(We are) taking this message to the seminaries so we can educate tomorrow’s ministers. We’re trying to get a new generation of pastors who understand this issue and can give good, helpful advice.
Anita: Pastors need to have all the books in their library that Focus offers for parents so that when a parent comes to them, you can offer them a book. You can also turn them onto another parent in the church.
Any parent sitting in a congregation can pick up that her pastor is uncomfortable talking about this topic. So the pastor has to become educated so he doesn’t feel uncomfortable with this topic.
There needs to be a place where your sons and daughters can go when they want to come out (of the lifestyle). And that is why parents, especially, need to support these ministries.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
The Love Won Out team will be at Sunshine Community Church in Grand Rapids, Mich., on Saturday, June 13.
You can watch Love Won Out footage throughout the month on GOD TV.
Check out Anita Worthen's book, "Somebody I Love Is Gay."
Read Frank's and Anita's testimonies.
(NOTE: Referral to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family Action is for informational purposes only and does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)
