Adoption: Meeting the Needs of Children through Mother-Father Parenting

by Kristin Darr

Adoption placements are meant to serve the best interest of children.

According to U.S. law and precedent, the practice of adoption is meant to serve the best interests of children.  As evidenced by the fight for adoption by same-sex couples, the current movement to protect and promote homosexual rights negates traditional adoption assumptions.  Though they might push for it, homosexual couples, and all couples for that matter, possess no right to adopt.  Rather, children have a right to grow up with the love that only a mother and a father can jointly provide.  Adoption placements - intended to meet the needs of children rather than to fulfill the wants and desires of adults - must acknowledge this fact. 

A crucial factor necessary to ensure the best interest of children is mother-father parenting. Evidence shows that for proper child development to occur, children should have daily access to the different and complementary ways that mothers and fathers parent.[1]  Mothers and fathers have distinct styles of interacting with others, unique ways of playing with children, different styles of communication, distinct means of showing children care and affection, and unique ways of behaving in general.  These differences teach children crucial lessons and better equip them with life skills.  In light of the unique contributions made by the mother and the father, it is no wonder that children with a married mom and dad are much less likely to live in poverty and to suffer from depression and much more likely to do well in school and to experience future relationship success.  In fact, children do best in every important measure when raised by two married, biological parents.[2] 

Not only is mother-father parenting proven as the best family structure, it is also the choice of the vast majority of birthmothers who opt to place their children with mother-father families.  A National Council For Adoption study found that most women ultimately choose adoption because they believe mother-father households are the best option for the well-being of their children.[3]  Many of the birthmothers interviewed for the study specifically state that they want their children to experience the complementary love and roles of both a mom and a dad.[4] 

Finally, social experiments on the family – including no-fault divorce and increased rates of cohabitation – have proved disastrous for children.  The dire results of these changes in family structure also raise doubts about supporting same-sex adoption – another untested change – when children’s welfare is at stake.  While advocates of same-sex adoption argue that same-sex parenting can effectively serve the well-being of children, no long-term studies with sound methodologies have established the well-being of children in same-sex homes.[5]  In contrast, we do know that children raised in same-sex households are more likely to drift toward homosexual orientation[6] and that children raised in mother-only homes often suffer harmful consequences, including increased likelihood of suspension, emotional problems, delinquency, abuse, and drug use.[7]  A loving society comes to the aid of motherless and fatherless families, but does not intentionally create them by legalizing adoption by same-sex couples. 

Clearly, children fare better when raised by a mother and a father, and adoption is meant to serve the best interest of children.  Unfortunately, the legalization of same-sex adoption wrongly places the wants and desires of homosexual adults above the needs of children for a mom and a dad.  With all the “politically correct” talk about homosexual rights, people tend to forget that the only individuals who have adoption rights are the children who have a right to both a mother’s and a father’s love.

For more information:

• Why Children Need Father-Love and Mother-Love
• Do Mothers and Fathers Matter?
• Orphan Care Initiative
• Faith-Based Communities: Meeting the Needs of Children in Foster Care

Kristin Darr is the Associate Analyst for Adoption Policy at Focus on the Family.

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