Raising Kids to Follow Christ for Themselves

by Glenn T. Stanton

Part 3 of intentional fatherhood series: There's no supply depot for formulas and cookie cutters.

Spiritual success isn't a formula. Just as we can't let others determine how we should develop and live out our own love for Christ, we can't determine that for our children.

"But hey, isn't that what parents do?" you might ask. Well, yes and no. God instructs parents to teach and model for their children the things of God. It's their most important task. It's part of the essence of loving Christ in your family. But just as God has given your child a unique set of fingerprints, He's given your child a unique personality and spirit. As your child grows and develops a relationship with Christ, he or she will become more and more independent of you. That means two things:

Your child will start getting his or her own direction from Christ.
This may be different from the direction Christ is giving you.

Your responsibility isn't to change the direction to the one you think your children should be going. Rather, it's to make sure they're hearing God well.

Your responsibility, then, isn't to change the direction to the one you think your children should be going. Rather, it's to make sure they're hearing God well. Of course, this can be difficult to discern--for both children and parents. The first step is determining whether or not the direction they're going lines up generally with Scripture. If it doesn't, you have a responsibility to intervene and help your children discern God's call for themselves in light of God's Word and under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

However, even if their direction does line up with Scripture, that doesn't necessarily mean it's God's will. Now you need to ask other questions like, "Does this seem to fit with my child's gifting, temperament, or style?"

You've probably seen parents who don't take this extra step, pushing their children down a ministry or career path that may fit the parents, but not the children. For example, maybe you have a deep passion for and effective ministry in teaching your church community how to pray strategically for world missions. In fact, you believe in it so much you think everyone else should have this as their central mission. But your child is developing a heart for the people with needs in your community and wants to start a book drive for kids who don't have ready access to books. Do you force your child into your mold or help him or her grow into God's mold? Let your child develop into the one God is developing and has called you to help nurture.

Spiritual success isn't a cookie-cutter formula, but is as vast as God Himself, as expansive as His Kingdom, and diverse as the humanity He created.

Remember, spiritual success isn't a cookie-cutter formula, but is as vast as God Himself, as expansive as His kingdom, and diverse as the humanity He created. As a parent your job is to help your child follow what God has for him or her, not what God has for you. Give your kids the essentials, and glory in how they live them out as the individuals God made them to be.

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Raising Kids to Follow Christ for Themselves