The mainstream media and homosexual activists regularly paint Focus on the Family as a "gay-hating fundamentalist group." The rhetoric has resurfaced — and grown — this week, as Focus takes its Love Won Out (LWO) conference to Anchorage, Alaska, on Saturday.
One of the churches promoting the Anchorage event is Wasilla Bible Church — the home church of Gov. Sarah Palin, the GOP's nominee for vice president.
Palin's ties to the Focus on the Family conference have stirred up the nest.
According to one gay activist, Focus is "responsible for much of the hate against gay and lesbian people in America" and pumps out "huge amounts of anti-gay propaganda." He goes on to call Focus "dangerous" and "dehumanizing."
Since many of the attacks are targeted at Melissa Fryrear, director of the gender issues department at Focus, CitizenLink asked her to set the record straight.
1. We hear that Focus on the Family hates gay people. What is your response?
This is the most grossly inaccurate and patently unfair portrayal of how Focus on the Family and LWO feel about those who identify as gay or lesbian. As a former lesbian who directs Focus’ gender division, I should know.
Having served at Focus for five years, I’ve had the opportunity — the privilege — to talk at length with hundreds of people at this ministry, including its top leadership, about the issues surrounding homosexuality and, more importantly, about those affected by it — the families who have a loved one living homosexually and the men and women who struggle with same-sex attraction. The hearts of those who serve at Focus are full of such compassion, grace and love. I know this is true because they’ve personally extended these to me.
Focus on the Family and LWO are also committed to sharing a Christian worldview on cultural issues, such as homosexuality. Don’t people of faith have the same right as any other American to be a part of the public dialogue? And shouldn’t Christians have the right to live their lives according to their biblical beliefs?
The Christian families we minister to believe God is real and that His Word is true. With regard to sexual behavior, they believe God has placed parameters on it for our own well-being — that it’s reserved for a husband and wife within marriage. Because of this belief, they cannot condone sexual behavior that falls outside of this, whether it’s heterosexual or homosexual.
The parents we minister to are just as concerned about a daughter living with her boyfriend as they are about a son who identifies as gay. So No. 1, they’re committed to biblical truth. And secondly, they want to unconditionally love their son or daughter even though they disagree with his or her sexual involvement. We encourage them that they can hold to their religious convictions and continue to love their son or daughter. Again, don't these Christian parents have the right to hold to their biblical beliefs about sexuality even if their child does not hold to the same convictions?
And what about those who struggle with same-sex attraction yet, because of their faith, don’t want to identify as gay or lesbian? Don’t they have the right to steward their sexuality according to their religious convictions? For some, that means a commitment to follow the biblical sexual ethic — which does not condone any sexual activity outside of marriage — and for others, they want to try to overcome their struggle with same-sex attraction and pursue heterosexuality.
Focus on the Family’s position as it relates to homosexuality is this: Truth and grace. (John 1:14,17). Focus is passionately committed to proclaiming God's created intent for human sexuality, and we are just as passionately committed to sharing about His forgiving and transforming grace.
2. We often hear that people like you — who no longer identify as homosexual — do not exist. How do you respond?
When I began my journey out of homosexually almost 15 years ago, one of the most liberating verses I read is 1 Corinthians 6:11, which references homosexuality. It reads, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” I was amazed to discover there was evidence from the first century of the Church that men and women had overcome homosexuality. My heart overflowed with so much hope!
I soon learned about Exodus International, the world’s premier Christian ministry helping individuals and families affected by homosexuality. Through Exodus, I met a few, then dozens, then hundreds, and now thousands, of people who have overcome homosexuality. Hope abounds!
We also have clinical studies and research that support what so many of us know personally. Last fall, researchers Stanton Jones and Mark Yarhouse released the results of a three-year study that showed sexual-orientation change is possible for some individuals going through religiously mediated programs. The study was the first longitudinal, peer-reviewed, scientific research of its kind. Jones and Yarhouse published a full report of their findings in their book, Ex-Gays?
3. What is your message for Anchorage — and the media?
In Anchorage, we'll share unashamed testimonies of what Jesus Christ has done in our lives. 1 Corinthians 6:11 isn't words on a page to us. It’s a living proclamation written 2,000 years ago that became a radical transformational reality in our lives today.
We want to help Christian parents, family members and friends who have a loved one living homosexually, with how to maneuver through unfamiliar and often-painful and difficult waters. We want to encourage them to show grace, compassion and love, without condoning homosexuality. Christians can support God’s created intent for sexuality in a way that is compassionate and respectful toward those who disagree.
For those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction, our message is one of hope and encouragement. We want them to know there is an alternative.
Finally, and most importantly, it is our hearts' cry that those who do not yet know Christ personally will hear and learn about Him, and as a result make the most important decision of their life by accepting Him as their personal Savior and Lord.
4. Gov. Sarah Palin's church has taken some criticism over its promotion of LWO. Why do the media seemed surprised that her church believes the Bible?
Standing for righteousness will sometimes bring the hatred of those who do not yet understand. John includes Jesus’ own words about this in his Gospel, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you” (John 15:18-19). Jesus is encouraging us to stand for righteousness and as we take that stand, to expect a certain amount of hostility.
As Christians, we have some very difficult things to say to people about their eternal destiny without Christ and about the potential harm they bring to themselves when they live outside of God’s will. And how we say these things is as important as the words we choose. The answer, again, is to balance truth and grace.
Joe Dallas, a counselor, author and speaker, sums it up in the closing message of the Love Won Out conference: “The voice that must go out from the Christian community is one that is absolutely unsparing in truth and will not compromise under the worst conditions, and one that is also equally unsparing in love.”
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Visit the Love Won Out Web site.
Listen to a radio interview with Melissa Fryrear.
(NOTE: Referral to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family is for informational purposes only and does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)
