The student film advertising Sex Week at Yale only hints at the on-campus debauchery. Yale Professor Bill Summers is featured saying it’s an opportunity for students to talk about variant sexualities.

“Here’s a forum, here’s an opportunity to indulge their curiosity.”

Sunday is the token Ash Wednesday to the weeklong Mardi Gras. Abstinence speaker Dawn Eden will be a part of a panel on sex and spirituality.

“What is a good Catholic girl like me doing at Sex Week at Yale? Well, I was invited by the Protestants there, by Yale Christian Fellowship.”

But the panel moderator has already warned her she won’t be able to talk openly.

“He’s acceding to the wishes of one of the fellow panelists who is a gay go-go dancer, who has requested that the panel be specifically about spirituality, not religion.”

Pat Trueman of the Alliance Defense Fund says pornography is already widespread on college campuses.

“The universities ought to be fighting pornography. Instead, Yale is sanctioning it, in effect broadcasting that this is a good educational tool.”

Some say Yale should be trading in its ivy for a few well placed fig leaves.