Grandparents and Sex Education: A Vital Link of Generations
Grandchildren are immersed in modern culture, and they know the world differently than you do.
Grandchildren are a precious gift from God. From the first time your eyes meet theirs a connection like no other begins. You are free to love them in the fullest sense without bearing the major responsibility of raising them to adulthood. You teach them constantly by your actions and your love. And your grandchildren listen intently to your verbal and non-verbal messages. But grandchildren do not live in an isolated existence away from societal changes and influences. They are immersed in modern culture, and they know the world differently than you do.
Our Grandchildren’s World:
Societal Influences If your grandchildren are under the age of 18, then they were born since 1987. Your grandchildren likely are of the "Microwave Generation" — they've never had to wait for a meal. They have had instant communication with their peers through beepers, cell phones, instant messaging and emails. Thanks to new telephone calling plans, it's likely that if you mention the term "long-distance call," they'd look back at you in puzzled confusion. They've had access to computers since they were in elementary school (if not before), and “soft copies” are their norm as paperwork appears, to them, to be obsolete.
For your grandkids, World War II, Korea and Vietnam are no closer or more personal than the Peloponnesian War or the French Revolution.
They came along after the eccentric 1960s and the beginning of the sexual revolution, but they are living the consequences of that revolution every day. They have always known abortion to be legal and that pregnancies can be prevented with the use of birth-control methods, such as "the pill." They've never known a world in which millions of people were not infected with HIV/AIDS or the dozens of other sexually transmitted diseases — many of which were unheard of when we were children.
Few of today's children know the blessings God gives through delayed gratification. Only those who have been taught well — through words and lifestyles — know that God asks us to live by faith, delaying the fulfillment of our desires for our own good, and for others.
Ignorance of the blessing of delayed gratification and living by faith in Christ profoundly influences this generation's girl-guy relationships.
Several years ago Jennifer was on a high school youth group retreat to explore and grow in the knowledge of God’s awesome love for us in the area of sexuality. I was blessed to be the speaker for that weekend. In the middle of one of my presentations on Saturday afternoon Jennifer had an “a-ha moment.” “You mean to tell me I can say no to a guy and if I do it’s a good thing?” Jennifer exclaimed. She had never been given permission to say “no” to a guy when he made sexual advances. Everything in her world of television, MTV and movies told her she had to have sex. And she never thought God gave her rules for protection; she thought God’s rules were just restrictions and punishment. Her life was changed. And it was changed by one conversation. God gives us incredible power to change peoples’ lives if only we begin the conversation.
When young people do understand this profound truth, the benefits of their family’s wisdom and faith enable them to grow into strong, faith-filled young adults. Within the context of family, grandparents are major influences in their grandchildren’s lives. Children and teens often report that they avoid high-risk behavior — including sexual relationships — for fear of disappointing their grandparents. But even with the healthy fear of disappointing grandparents teens can make poor decisions due, in large part, to cultural stimuli that bombard them every day of their lives.
Our Grandchildren’s World: Media
We can see the influences of media by just taking a simple ride to a mall with our grandchildren. Billboards and signs litter our highways with explicit sexual messages and images. The sexual influences of media are more prolific for our grandchildren today than any other generation in history.
In Sexuality, Contraception, and the Media, the American Academy of Pediatrics reported that American children devote more than 38 hours per week to various forms of media, such as television, videos, video games, music, and the Internet. By the time the average teen graduates from high school he will have squandered 15,000 hours watching television – that’s 20 percent more time than the 12,000 hours he will have spent in the classroom. Furthermore, the average American adolescent will view nearly 14,000 sexual references per year.
This exposure to the media and its sexual messages profoundly affects our grandchildren. Remember television in the 1960s? Bedroom scenes typically showed couples — always married — sleeping in separate beds. Husband and wife were seen snuggling under the covers of their own twin beds, each telling the other from afar, “I love you.” Today, television bombards our grandchildren with explicit sexual scenes between unmarried persons.
In addition to television, movies and music, the Internet has exploded on the scene in the past dozen years. As with so many modern conveniences, the Internet can be used for good or evil. We can use it to educate ourselves, plan travel and even pay bills online. But the Internet also makes filth more accessible than ever, and one of the most profound evils of our age is pornography.
Pornographic images break down innocence and replace it with graphic and often unforgettable images. Pornography invades minds with depictions of torture, rape and unspeakable sexual crimes, usually against women. These images can become a stronghold, distorting God’s plan for sexuality so perversely that there is nothing left of the loveliness of His gift. This behavior, and at times addiction, is destroying men and boys and, increasingly, girls as well. It is destroying marriages, families — and even the church.
In light of the destruction of sexual truth that is occurring through media, what are some of the daily consequences of sexual sin and sexualized culture upon our grandchildren?
We will explore those issues in Part II of our series.
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